[learn]

Wednesdays can be revolutionary.

Last night I was in Lake Oswego for a meeting and stopped at St. Honore for dinner. Another Wednesday night date with myself. (Also: a traditional French bakery with a Happy Hour menu? Best idea ever!) I sat outside under an umbrella table, ate salad and a vegetable pastry, listened to the accordion player (Happy Bastille Day!) around the corner of the plaza, and spent time staring out across the stones at the fountain the lake beyond. In my little striped dress and sunnies, I really did feel like I was in France. Except no one was smoking.

I'm almost done with the Boundaries book, and part of me feels like I should start over immediately. Then again, I guess it's good to give oneself a chance to practice rather than just continually gathering information and strategy. Sometimes helpful things can become a way to distract myself from painful things. Reading books isn't that difficult - it's the actual doing-the-work part that is so hard.

But I'm confident healthy boundaries are something I can learn. Besides recognizing the punishment/discipline difference, and that love can only exist when proper boundaries create two free, distinct individuals, the reminder that I can learn has been so revolutionary.

There is nothing that you are presently doing that you did not have to learn. At one time, the things you are now able to do were unfamiliar and frightening. This in the nature of life. Once you realize that you are able to learn new things and handle new situations, you cease fearing the future.

...No one ever knows how to do something before they do it. They go and learn it.

...If you can begin to learn that you can learn, future unknowns look totally different. [boundaries 260]

You don't even have to say I can do this. The first (no wait, it's the second) step to something great is really just a willingness to try and a confidence that you can learn it. Or maybe even just the willingness to be willing and the confidence to know you'll learn confidence.

I've learned so much. No bad habits or past experiences or current hurts will stop me from growing if I'm willing.

I am willing to continue learning. On Wednesdays, and other days too. Because to live, you see, is an awfully big adventure.